There’s just something about the start of a new year that makes you want to throw out all the cookies, dust off your running shoes and hit the gym! Am I right?
I’ll be honest, my husband and I have jumped on the bandwagon and decided to commit to a lifestyle change in 2018. We are cutting out the sugars, fats, grain, and exercising more. We are only a few days in but I feel better already. I’m not sure if it is the healthier food choices or my menstrual cycle releasing the toxins but I must say, I feel different.
Yes, I have started my monthly cycle so… no, I am not pregnant.
But the title of a New Year, New PREGNANT Me sounded so fun, right? I did get a little giddy at the thought of writing my next blog and possibly sharing the good news.
Instead, here I am with a loss of words.
I had a conversation with my sister in law a few days ago… she started with the sweetest words, “Catherine, I’m not sure what your situation is, but if you needed a surrogate, I would totally do that for you and Seth!”
I responded with tears in my eyes.
And, she isn’t the first person to say that to me. My precious mother said it once and even an intern who worked for me over the summer last year said it.
Truth is, I know several of my family and friends would be a surrogate if I needed them to. There is no doubt in my mind that anyone in my life would not say yes if I asked them. I know I have an army of friends and family fighting and cheering us on.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed, sad, stressed, and defeated when sharing my latest news of infertility. But I have comfort in knowing that the sadness, stress, and even choices are shared with so many loved ones and that is what gets me through the hard times.
Though I am at a loss of words, the emotions weigh heavy in my heart as I fear the upcoming days and weeks. I shared with you all in my last post that we would be pursuing all avenues in efforts to become parents and I share with you today that our journey continues as we listen to His voice in all.
Next week I will go for a biopsy that will check to see if the endometriosis has returned and the following week we have appointment with an REI (Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility Specialist). Stay tuned because He is just getting started.
New Year, New Me? Yes, I would say so. I think I have come a long way with handling some of the emotions that come with this whole ordeal and I am getting better at sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. My hope is that this year will bring more positive results, more genuine relationships, and a deeper trust in Him.
New Year, New PREGNANT Me? Perhaps… but only He knows.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6